Harvesting the crops of awesome.

“When you start envying people and their nervous breakdowns, it’s probably time to start examining your own life a bit more closely.”

So I am in search for the perfect new wallet. I would like something that A) leather B) Has a lot of room for cards and C) is handcrafted by an independent designer. SO, I have been online browsing on Etsy and so far here are my favorites:

I know this one is very simplistic. But I like simple. I'm kinda into the color yellow, and since I don't wear the color yellow, I would love to have an everyday item that is yellow.

Because I love bows. 

This ones not leather, but I love it. I may be able to sacrifice leather for birds and trees.

I suppose that's all for now, but I'm not giving up the search quite yet.

“But somewhere along the line, something changed, and she became unbearably beautiful in her quiet grief, in the way she bravely embraced the new solitude of her life, in her serene acceptance of her own tragic circumstances, and something was born in me, something that comes alive only in her presence, that dreams unspeakable things and considers a wide range of absurd possibilities.”

I can’t say that I’m the most well adjusted individual out there but I don’t hate myself. We all have self esteem issues at one time in our lives or another but I can honestly say I love the person that is ME. Would I change anything? Sure, I could lose a few pounds and the hair issue bothers me but there’s not a whole lot to be done about it.

The hair issue being ‘Alopecia Areata”. If you’re curious of this condition click on this link: http://www.aocd.org/skin/dermatologic_diseases/alopecia_areata.html

Please do not be alarmed upon clicking the link. I do not want to start receiving sympathy or recycled human hair. I do not lose ALL of my hair. Usually one patch a year, typically the size of a quarter. 

"It was bewildering and humbling to keep discovering how many brave things people can fail to talk themselves out of doing."
-Rob Sheffield 

SO, I posted on Facebook about pessimistic gas station lady and her theory on the state of my being. But if you didn’t catch it:

Gas Station Lady: “Oh my god, you were born on November 28^th?”

Me: “Yeah…”

Gas Station Lady: “Oh gosh, I’m sorry. That’s a horrible day to be born on.”

Me: “Why is that?”

Gas Station Lady: “Because people born on November 28^th tend to live there life in a perpetual state of loneliness. I read all about it in a book. They spend their lives alone, because they can never find people who really, truly understand them.”

Me: “Hmmm”

Gas Station Lady: “Well, I sure hope that’s not your experience. Have a great day!”

To make matters worse, I have not been the happiest person lately. And I have spent the last week or so feeling pretty lonely, of which is my own doing….I’m just saying, she’s lucky I'm not suicidal.

“And the thing is, no matter how many times I have the dream, I’m always shocked and horrified, and this little part of me, the part that’s conscious of the dream, wonders how the hell I could have let it happen again, when I already know the dream.”

On an unrelated note, here's a card I'd like to send...

Dear Café Patron:

I don't care what people do in their own home but when you're at a public establishment among other people who share the daily paper, please don't take it with you to the bathroom. We all know what you're doing in there. Unless I get the paper before you, there's no way I'm going anywhere near it once you're done unless I'm wearing a Hazmat suit. Your cooperation in this matter is greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

"The hungry feeling and the lonely feeling merged until it was hard to tell them apart."
-Rob Sheffield

While you may think of yourself as a big-picture person, Monday brings details that simply cannot be ignored. Force yourself to deal with them quickly so you can get on with the rest of the week -- you'll need to spend some time pondering the big issues in a few days. Watch out for dates or other one-on-one interactions on Thursday or Friday, as you may be a bit grumpy and less able to present your good side. Forewarned is forearmed! The travel bug should bite you hard this weekend, and it's a good time to make plans to get out of town.

I think my horoscope is telling me to commit to the Labor Day camping trip. It would get me out of town.

She's releasing a live album November 22nd. I can't wait. It shall be an early birthday present to myself perhaps. I love this song, and it seems appropriate for today.

It's like forgetting the words to your favorite song.
You can't believe it; you were always singing along.
It was so easy and the words so sweet.
You can't remember; you try to move your feet.
It was so easy and the words so sweet.
You can't remember; you try to feel the beat...

"Her universe is such a big place full of so many galaxies-100 billion of them with 100 billion stars apiece which means 10 to the 22nd power stars-that it’s terrifying to think of the odds that we found each other. We want to freeze the perfect moment hold on to it at least long enough to understand it. But it dances on with us or without us so we jump in and try to keep up. The universe is expanding and we are just two of a billion stars."
-Rob Sheffield “Talking to Girls About Duran Duran”

It may be time to retire to my bed, where I can get lost in my book. I haven't been having the best days lately. Maybe with a good nights sleep I can start my Monday off harvesting the crops of awesome.
Here's hoping.

"Livin' on a Prayer"

"But I'm out there, suiting up and showing up, doing my best. Some days I might get somewhere, and some days I might not, but I go to sleep every night know that tomorrow is another chance for my life to get better."

Today's Horoscope: You have a low tolerance for boredom. So when things get too quiet, you'll find a way to ignite the action.
It also says that I am only going to have a three star day. Nonsense.

Is it 2012 yet? Because I'm already getting overly excited for the summer Olympics. I plan on watching all the gymnastics coverage there is...in my leotard. Of course.

I have a thing for paper art. I'm not entirely sure why. It just interests me. Like pop-up books.

So I suppose it goes without saying, that I also love pop-up cards. You can find a lot of directions and patterns online. I am going to have to try one.

This is a great website for paper art ideas and products: http://foldingtrees.com/

For awhile now I have been talking about taking a spinning class. I hear they are a great workout, and lets face it, I need my ass kicked. The other upside to spinning is that the bike is stationary, which makes it far more safer for me, since I have road a regular bike probably once since the age of twelve.

It's about that time...this coffee shop is becoming crazy. Commence people watching!

Doesn't this look like a dreamy breakfast? And that it also may contain my entire days worth of calories?

Avast me hearties, I hope you all are preparing for "National Talk Like a Pirate Day"...it's coming up, September 19th!
http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html


The Piranjabie= the stealth of a ninja + the rebel nature of a pirate + the determination of a zombie.

"I would say that I'm paralyzed, that I see things I can't reach for, have itches I can't scratch. And then there are the parts of me that I can't feel anymore at all. That my days are filled with quiet dread that  has as much to do with her, or at least the potential of her. That I'm so in love with her that I can't breathe, and that it's become the only color in my universe, a deep blood-red, rending everything and everyone else in black-and-white, and that I don't want to live in black-and-white, but I'm terrified it's where I'll end up anyway."

I want to start writing reviews for the books I read, since reading is one of my major hobbies. It's a goal of mine. But, I should probably get completely prepared for school first.

I've had a pretty big sense of sadness in the past week. If I try to talk about the things that are on my mind, even I get tired of my whining. Not to mention I'm a walking contradiction. It's such hard work trying to concentrate long enough to make sense of it. But things are looking up.

Also, big news for the family of Cleresy! I will be an aunt again, not once, but twice in the month of April. Both brothers and sister's in law are expecting minions. Nick and Zoe are for sure having a girl. I can't wait to shop for a niece. So far I hear she has quite the collection of pink dinosaur stuff. She's gonna be awesome.

Your Karaoke Theme Song is "Livin' On a Prayer"

You believe the best things in life are mostly forgotten, and you're definitely more than a little nostalgic . You have a knack for knowing what elements of pop culture people have missed, without them even realizing it. It's great to remember the past, but don't forget that not everyone is as stuck in it as you are. You might also sing: "Pour Some Sugar on Me," "Rapper's Delight," and "Cherry Pie" Stay away from people who sing: "Toxic"

This is what my afternoon may look like:

But, as with all people, everything is so multi-layered and never as straight forward as it could be. There are lots of reasons. The ones you give. The ones you don’t admit. The ones you realize and the ones you don’t.

Are cliches, cliches because there true?

"I would insist that none of this can be trusted. Because she's a mess and I'm a mess and she's alone and shaken...and there are so many ways for this to be a disaster, for it to be all wrong and make no sense. That it may be nothing more than a colossal accident of convenience and transference, a subtle transposition of fears and wants, the random synthesis of a savior complex and desperate grief, wrapped up in loneliness and tied with a thick red... And I want to tell her that even though it can't be trusted, I do anyway."

That's all for now. In the meantime, bask in the glow of my awesomeness.

I'll rethink what I wear next pajama day.

"When you're lost in those woods, it sometimes takes you a while to realize that you are lost. For the longest time, you can convince yourself that you've just wandered off the path, that you'll find your way back to the trail head any moment now. Then night falls again and again, and you still have no idea where you are, and its time to admit that you have bewildered yourself so far off the path that you don't even know from which direction the sun rises anymore."
- Elizabeth Gilbert

My student’s have agreed to an end of the year tea party; if, and only if, I master my British accent.

Tonight I am enjoying the sound of silence.

Whenever I feel like I'm under extreme amount of pressure, I sing "The Heat is On" in my mind. It helps me focus.

Pronouncing words incorrectly makes me happy. I don't know why. Like brian instead of brain, tarjay instead of Target, Ja-la-peno instead of Jalapeno, va-jite-ah instead of fajita. Even when I'm in the foulest of moods, silly things like that pour little bits of happy dust all over me and I smile inside. Little things eh?

I also like to rhyme nonsense words.

I'm trying to get back to that laid back person who was extremely pragmatic about the shittiness of life. The crapness of other people. And the appalling things that can happen. Ok that’s not entirely true. I just have to reboot and tune back into reality. And I really am trying to be a better person. In doing so, I've found that I care less and less about what other people think of me. Not because I'm not caring. Just because I'm sick of thinking about what I mean to other people. I can't control what other people think of you or say about me. But if I'm a good person then there should be no need to give it another thought. Mostly.

Which is how I've managed to get myself out of feeling, at times, extremely low. A good reality check from time to time does you the world of good. I've not been one to tolerate those who sit about complaining and won't do anything to change that.

Overall I'm optimistic.

"I must say a word about fear. It is life's only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unnerving ease. It begins in your mind, always ... so you must fight hard to express it. You must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it. Because if you don't, if your fear becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to further attacks of fear because you never truly fought the opponent who defeated you."
— Yann Martel

Today in class we were working on a review writing assignment. To practice we brainstormed ideas of how we spent our summer. I asked the girls how they thought I spent my summer. They said "playing video games in your Super Mario pajamas". I'll rethink what I wear next pajama day.

And by the way, everyone should read this blog: http://www.badtemperedzombie.com/

I have successfully slept through the past three nights without waking up and eating. Yay Me!

I love the smell of bed. There'll be someone out there who will understand this statement. But I know what I mean and I quite like it.

Progress not perfection.

My tummy is rumbling. Quick! Put some cake in it!

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go..."
-Dr. Suess

Combatting the plague of mannerlessness.

"Reading is everything. Reading makes me feel like I've accomplished something, learned something, become a better person. Reading makes me smarter. Reading gives me something to talk about later on. Reading is the unbelievably healthy way my attention deficity disorder medicates itself. Reading is escape, and the opposite of escape; it's a way to make contact with reality after a day of making things up, and it's a way of making contact with someone else's imagination after a day that's all too real. Reading is grist. Reading is bliss. "
--Nora Ephron

It was just one of those days. You know the ones...like hitting all the red lights when you're in a rush.

 I have a constant fear of this happening:

This dreamer died when his dreamed died too

I'm not in a bad mood, just not a great mood.  The world isn't ending (at least I haven't heard any news of an impending zombie apocalypse)….  It just is one of those days.  Everyday can't be a "whoopie" sort of day, now can it?  If it was, how would you know the difference between a humdrum sort of day and an amazing one?  Case closed.

I swear I’m gonna cry, I’m sick of trying to be tough

http://www.thesheepmarket.com/

"Stressed" spelled backward is "desserts."

In attempt to brighten up this not so snazzy day, I give you my top ten list of what I love about thunderstorms, rain, monsoons, etc.

1. Lightning. Single strikes, sheet lightening, bolts that seem to wrap around the sky – I love them all.
2. The sound of rain falling is one of the best sounds in the world. Pitter, patter.
3. The scent of rain is one of the best smells in the world. I want a bottle of it.
4. The dogs get freaked out and want to cuddle.
5. Thunder. The bigger the boom, the better.
6. Mother Nature is wicked awesome and a violent bitch.
7. There’s almost no one else outside so I can enjoy the rain in peace.
8. Watching the dark clouds roll in and waiting with anticipation for those first raindrops to fall.
9. I get to curl up in a big warm blanket, with a good book, open the window, and enjoy a hot cup of cocoa (marshmallows included).
10. I get a giggle watching the news coverage.  

 I need to order one of these so I can emulate the rain-- since I don't get enough. It's called a "rain shower".

Apparently we need to start teaching ‘public bathroom etiquette’. What happened to manners and consideration of others? Oh…wait…that’s right. We don’t have any anymore. I won’t go into details, but manners have gone the way of the Dodo and the Dinosaurs. I blame the parents. Sorry parental units out there but this is partially your fault, at least for the younger bathroom users. My parents taught my siblings and I manners from the time we were old enough to walk and talk. Please, thank you, consideration of others, holding doors open, giving up your seat on the bus to the elderly and infirm, treat others as you would have them treat you… You know what I’m talking about. Sure, I’m not quite up to speed on my “Dinner with the Queen” etiquette but I’m sure I could wing it. Are parents not doing their jobs? This doesn’t, of course, explain the middle-aged bathroom users (or even my generation).

To help combat this plague of mannerlessness (is that a word?), I’ve compiled a short list of things people should or should not do. Note that this is by no means a complete list of acceptable/unacceptable behaviors. Feel free to add to it as you see fit.

TO DO:

- If someone holds the door open for you, allows you to cut in line in front of them or gives you a free sample of something, SAY THANK YOU. It helps if you actually mean it.

- When you want something, or want someone to do something for you, SAY PLEASE. It’s amazing what that one magic word will get you.

- Treat others the way you want to be treated.  Before you do something, imagine what it would be like if you were the one on the receiving end.

NEVER:

- Spit on the sidewalk, roadway, or the aisle of the bus. Exception: if you have just sucked the poison out of a person’s leg/arm after they’ve been bitten by a venomous spider/snake, spit all you want.

- Floss your teeth in public. No one wants to see that.

- Use your cell phone in public bathrooms. It’s not so much that I feel bad for the person on the other end of the line; I don’t want (1) them to hear what I’M doing in there, and (2) I don’t want to listen to your conversation while trying to have a wee.

- Clip your nails in public. See the note on flossing. This is disgusting.

- Spend excessive amounts of time texting/ surfing the web while on a date/in a meeting/talking to someone. You’re sending a message to the person you’re with that (a) they’re not important, (b) you have no interest in what they’re saying, and (c) you’re an idiot and an asshole.

 Other things that make me happy:

1. Mash potatoes and gravy
2. Listening to really great music in a really hot bubble bath
3. Unexpected postcards in the mail 
4. The smell of pastries baking
5. Christmas music

“It doesn’t matter how slowly you go, as long as you don’t stop.” –Confucius

Tomorrow will be a better day. It has to be.

Good things happen to those who hustle.

"Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about those who don’t. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely be worth it."

Today I was told I look like Katy Perry....it must be the boobs.

"But the muse won’t always cooperate and she will never be coerced. Sometimes she’d rather take a nap or see a mid-afternoon movie." 

Jonathan Tropper

But, is just a word you use when you’re afraid of trying.

I can find a million ways to procrastinate. 

I'm not equipped with my own words tonight. 

Happy is waking up in the morning and realizing you still have three hours left to sleep; fluffy beds and clean crisp sheets. Happy is going in a pool on a hot summer day, hot being between 80-90 degrees. Happy is finishing a project after weeks of procrastination.  Happy is taking a warm shower on a cold day. Happy is witnessing random acts of kindness. Happy is not wanting to be anywhere else but here. Happy is having hot chocolate after shoveling snow.
The fact that you cannot kiss your own elbow is enough to make you realize that some things seem to be so close, yet they are just out of reach.


I'm in need of some rain. Please and thank you.

 
Fat Hangover- 
The horrible feeling after indulging on too much food, similar to the hangover of alcohol. Fat hangovers have almost all of the same effects of regular hangovers. Fat hangovers, however, usually occur right after eating or when going to sleep. 

So Swim Until You Can't See Land

I overreact. I underestimate. I overestimate. I want to know what my future looks like, but I like surprises. I get excited and disappointed. I look too deep into everything’s meaning. I dream big. I can tell when I’m being lied to, but sometimes I wish I couldn't.When I ask how your day was, I genuinely want to know. When I ask how you are, I mean it. I have a small hand, but a firm handshake. I have big eyes, and a small stomach. I appreciate simple things, like smiles.

"The highest unclimbed mountain in the world is Gangkhar Puensum, an almost 25,000-foot-tall beauty in Bhutan. It will remain free of human influence indefinitely, as local authorities are keen on preventing the environmental degradation that has occurred on popular peaks like Mt. Everest, where climbers have left lots of trash. What's the equivalent in your sphere, Sagittarius? The most prominent unconquered prize? The Grail that still remains elusive? The virgin treasure your quest has not yet won? According to my analysis, you now have the potential to make tangible progress toward that goal. Unlike the case with Gangkhar Puensum, there are no rules or laws preventing you.

http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/

"Don't say anything, because I see that you understand me, and I am afraid of your understanding. I have such a fear of finding another like myself, and such a desire to find one! I am so utterly lonely, but I also have such a fear that my isolation be broken through, and I no longer be the head and ruler of my universe. I am in great terror of your understanding by which you penetrate into my world; and then I stand revealed and I have to share my kingdom with you."
-Anais Nin

Jack-of-all trades, master of none.

 "Her theology is all over the map, from God to horoscopes, the one consistent thread being an uncompromising certainty that there are unseen forces at work shaping our fate and that every action has potentially cosmic consequences." -Everything Changes

Last night I had a dream that I was in France, with my Mom, Sister, and Dad. For some reason, unknown to me, my Mom was being interviewed on CNN. We went out to eat at a french restaurant, and I think I ordered a quesadilla...since I'm sure they serve those at french restaurants.

Someday, I will be drinking my Sunday coffee in Paris, while eating eclairs of course.

And then I will spend my day riding my bike in Tuscany.  Perhaps I'll take a road trip, or maybe take a train, I've never been on a train before.

Then I'll fill up the 'ol tummy at dinner in Greece, on the beach of course.

Followed by watching the sunset in Spain.

Sunday Funday just turned into Sunday Dreamday.

 "And the thing of it is, today I can't bring myself to give a shit. Something in my internal processes has gone totally awry, and there's this spot, this microscopic group of rebel cells breaking the rules and congregating where they shouldn't, smoking and drinking and getting tattoos, and fucking around with the system." -Jonathan Tropper

I want a swing set.
I'd like to sing in a barber shop quartet.
I have a terrible time with directions.  I still check my right from left.
I snap with the wrong fingers.
My blood type is O positive.
My favorite vegetable is an avocado, which is technically a fruit.
I like to do things myself.
Awkward moments define me.
I find short-tempered people difficult.
I was born on the same day as Trey Songz.
I'm a great listener, but I can't help interrupting when I have an idea.
I'd read all day if I could.
I'm an expert napper.
I believe no one can match Mom's cookin'.
I like to think of myself as a jack-of-all-trades, master of none.
I can touch my nose with my tongue.
I want to be a member of a flash mob, just once.
I am an excessive user of exclamation marks.
I lack the capability to keep my mouth closed, when it matters most.

"It's often said that a Sagittarius born on November 28 is their own best friend and worst enemy. They know how to break rules to get attention. But they're also creative and can inspire others. They have bursts of creative energy, as well as periods of indolence during which they produce very little. People born on this date want what they want, though exactly what that is has a tendency to change from day to day. November 28 individuals are often uncertain about which path to take, generally because they have so many interests. They try hard to be more decisive about goals, which can become a goal in itself."

When you want things to change and all you do is sit back and watch things happen, don't be disappointed when nothing's different.

I went to the mall today, as usual, to get my eyebrows 'threaded'. While I was there I of course needed to walk around (for exercise purposes alone). Anyways, while I was 'exercising' I found the cutest Toms. I will have to order them because they didn't have my size in store, otherwise they would be on my feetsies as I write this. They will be mine.

You wish you could just take off like a bird on Monday. You want to flap your wings and fly high over everyone, but you can't get off the ground. You have a yearning to expand your horizons, but it's not going to happen like that. Tuesday and Wednesday, you're a lot more comfortable in the here and now. Masculine energy figures strongly. So does creativity, productivity and romance. Thursday and Friday, the key to success is communication. Even if something goes embarrassingly awry, be upfront about it. Saturday and Sunday, there's a lot going on, but the conversations in between interest you most.

Above all, be true to yourself and if you can't put your heart in it, take yourself out.

I got a letter on a lonesome day,
It was from her ship a-sailin',
Saying I don't know when I'll be comin' back again,
It depends on how I'm a-feelin'. 

Oh, how can, how can you ask me again,
It only brings me sorrow.
The same thing I want from you today,
I would want again tomorrow.

The kids come back tomorrow. It officially marks the end of summer.

Goodbye Summer '11...I sure will miss you.