“Unless it’s mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love shouldn’t be one of them.”
Free Will Horoscope brought to you by Rob Brezney!
The beauty contests in Saudi Arabia don't judge women on the basis of their physical appearance. A recent winner, Aya Ali al-Mulla, was crowned "Queen of Beautiful Morals" without ever revealing the face and form shrouded beneath her black head-to-toe garment. Instead, her excellence emerged during a series of psychological and social tests that evaluated her strength of character and service to family and society. I'd like to borrow this idea and apply it to you. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you could and should be a paragon of moral beauty in the coming week -- a shining example and inspiration to all the other signs of the zodiac.
Book shelf porn!
http://bookshelfporn.com/
This is what I will do when this day is over:
What's that you're saying there? Oh well
Rain rushing window pane
Can't see what space I'm in, oh well
But I'm safe inside me here, oh well
I say we practice taking everything less seriously and less personally and less literally.
If you're typical, your natural curiosity was virtually extinguished at an early age by mediocre teachers, boring lessons, and oppressive classrooms. Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if your imagination hadn't been squelched? What interesting adventures might you have sought out if your natural love of learning hadn't been crushed?
Let's launch a quest to undo the damage. Imagine I've handed you an undiploma: your official release from the soul-death of your formal education; the beginning of the healing of your wounded love of learning.
Just to make sure you are reading up on your Pirate Lingo for "International Talk-Like-A-Pirate-Day" (TLAP Day)
- Beauty – The best possible pirate address for a woman. Always preceded by “me,” as in, “C’mere, me beauty,” or even, “me buxom beauty,” to one particularly well endowed. You’ll be surprised how effective this is.
- Bilge rat – The bilge is the lowest level of the ship. It’s loaded with ballast and slimy, reeking water. A bilge rat, then, is a rat that lives in the worst place on the ship. On TLAP Day – A lot of guy humor involves insulting your buddies to prove your friendship. It’s important that everyone understand you are smarter, more powerful and much luckier with the wenches than they are. Since bilge rat is a pretty dirty thing to call someone, by all means use it on your friends.
- Bung hole – Victuals on a ship were stored in wooden casks. The stopper in the barrel is called the bung, and the hole is called the bung hole. That’s all. It sounds a lot worse, doesn’t it? On TLAP Day – When dinner is served you’ll make quite an impression when you say, “Well, me hearties, let’s see what crawled out of the bung hole.” That statement will be instantly followed by the sound of people putting down their utensils and pushing themselves away from the table. Great! More for you!
- Grog – An alcoholic drink, usually rum diluted with water, but in this context you could use it to refer to any alcoholic beverage other than beer, and we aren’t prepared to be picky about that, either. Call your beer grog if you want. We won’t stop you! Water aboard ship was stored for long periods in slimy wooden barrels, so you can see why rum was added to each sailor’s water ration – to kill the rancid taste.
It can be translated into Dutch, if you so desire.
In othernews….. I’d like to throw a hail mary out there to the parents of this kid. WILL YOU ADOPT ME?
I always thought Rogue had it good - she didn't have to rely on one polarizing power but could sample everyone else's at will. I guess there was that pesky residual voices-in-your-head thing, but I already talk to myself, so not an issue.
I'd have the power to look at pictures of holiday destinations and in a blink of an eye be there. Not quite saving lives, but saving me from days just not going my way! 
No comments:
Post a Comment