Epic Fail Imminent

"Emotions, in my experience, aren't covered by single words. I don't believe in "sadness," "joy," or "regret." Maybe the best proof that the language is patriarchal is that it oversimplifies feeling. I'd like to have at my disposal complicated hybrid emotions, Germanic train-car constructions like, say, "the happiness that attends disaster." Or: "the disappointment of sleeping with one's fantasy." I'd like to show how "intimations of mortality brought on by aging family members" connects with "the hatred of mirrors that begins in middle age." I'd like to have a word for "the sadness inspired by failing restaurants" as well as for "the excitement of getting a room with a minibar." I've never had the right words to describe my life, and now that I've entered my story, I need them more than ever. "

For the week of September 15th:
Every one of us is born with up to 150 new mutations that make us different from both of our parents. Most of those genetic alterations are neutral in their effects. Some are negative and a few may be beneficial. I bring this to your attention, Sagittarius, because you're entering a phase when it's possible to take more advantage of your positive mutations than you ever have before. Can you guess what they are? Try to, because you're primed to tap in to their fuller potential.

What exactly are you looking for? How would you describe the experiences you want more than anything else?

Your heart is your backbone and if it wants something, despite difficulty, it will. Take a chance, an adventure for the things you’ll discover, about the world, but more importantly, about yourself. Take a breath and jump. Throw yourself into it. Because yes, you might fail. But you also might not. Risks can be the most beautiful thing in the world, they change you, they can alter you, and they can definitely, definitely, be worth it.

“Curiosity, especially intellectual inquisitiveness, is what separates the truly alive from those who are merely going through the motions.”

-Tom Robbins

Dreaming, afterall, is a form of planning.

Do you love bacon? Do you send a lot of mail via USPS?

Then this is for you:

MMMvelopes-

"Technology has given us a lot lately. The car. TV. X-rays. The refrigerator. The Internet. Heck, we even cured polio. But what have our envelopes tasted like for the last 4,000 years? Armpit, that’s what.

Really, people? If we can’t overcome this kind of minor technical challenge, it’s only a matter of time until some super-advanced race of aliens with lasers, spaceships and a delicious federal mail system comes down and colonizes the world. And nobody wants that (except for the aliens, of course).

So, after thousands of years and kajillions of horrible tasting envelopes licked, we’re happy to report that J&D’s Bacon-Flavored Mmmvelopes™ are here to save the day. No longer will envelopes taste like the underside of your car. You can enjoy the taste of delicious bacon instead.

That’s right, bacon. It’s not real bacon, mind you, so you won’t have to start storing your envelopes in the refrigerator. But it really does taste like bacon. Which is what you really wanted in the first place, isn’t it? And it only took us 4,000 years to get there. Eat that, alien invaders."

You can buy them here (with an assortment of other bacon goodness, if you're into that sorta thing): http://mmmvelopes.com/

“Our lives are not as limited as we think they are; the world is a wonderfully weird place; consensual reality is significantly flawed; no institution can be trusted, but love does work; all things are possible; and we all could be happy and fulfilled if we only had the guts to be truly free and the wisdom to shrink our egos and quit taking ourselves so damn seriously.” -Tom Robbins

If your not into bacon. Surf Etsy. Here are some of the gems you can find for sale at Etsy.com: a toy pig made from a root beer can; a "juicy enchanted pouch" for holding runes; a handmade hornet's nest; a stuffed feral goat fashioned to resemble a unicorn; fake tapeworms that are actually spray-painted fettuccine; and a "haunted Ouija board Las Vegas casino-style blackjack roulette poker chip."

I was so excited for about 12 hours, because I checked my course schedule for my upcoming classes, and it said I was currently scheduled for a Direct Study. Meaning, I would not have to attend a four hour class every Wednesday for the next six weeks. Then I checked my 'future courses' and I have a class listed for 9/14/11. SO not only do I have to attend a four hour class for the next six weeks, I ALSO get to take another course on top of that. Double neat.

Oh what's that you tell me Michaela? It's an 8 week class?! Triple neat!!

Epic Fail Imminent- Impending failure of monumental proportions. Being told this phrase can only mean one thing: there is absolutely zero chance of any victory. There is only complete and utter conquest and slaughter.

On that note. I think it's time for bed.