Teacups and Tutus

"Affirmations are the psychological equivalent to sprinkling baby powder on top of the turd your puppy has left on the carpet. This does not resolve in a cleaner carpet. It coats the underlying issue with futility." -Augusten Burroughs (This is How)

I admire the work of Canadian photographer Lissy Laricchia, aka Lissy Elle. Her alternate worlds and imaginary mind inspire me.

“And that, I realize, is the problem with many of us Americans and our perpetual pursuit of happiness. We may be fairly happy now, but there’s always tomorrow and the prospect of a happier place, a happier life. So all options are left on the table. We never fully commit. That, I think, is a dangerous thing. We can’t love a place, or a person, if we always have one foot out the door.”

 –Eric Weiner (The Geography of Bliss)

"The best person you can be is the person you are when you are alone on a random Thursday. That's who you are... Never, ever try to impress somebody. Be the person you are right now, alone, reading this book...Then hold out until you meet somebody who is utterly impressed. Because then? You have not impressed them. They will have been impressed by you... If you meet someone and they love you when you are your true, awful, not-ready-yet, boring, not cool enough, not handsome enough, not pretty enough, too fat, too poor self? And you love them back so much it makes you calm? And they have flaws and you do not mind a single one of them? If you found that, you found it."
- Augusten Burroughs

It is always safe to see yourself truthfully.

Lissy writes on her site:

"Nothing inspires me like childish things. Tutus and tea parties. Porcelain dolls and Disney movies. The love of learning and exploring that we as adults lose along the way. Walking through a forest barefoot. Talking to yourself in a silly voice. Building forts during a thunderstorm. Battling dragons and monsters in your mind. Coming home, safe and sound, and turning your adventures into art.I discovered photography as an art-form when I was 13. It quickly became an escape from the trials of adolescence, and an excuse to let it soldier on. The reason to get up in the morning and wash your hair. To re-arrange your bedroom furniture. To save your money for a Nikkor 50mm 1.8 lens. To explore an abandoned house. To tie two dozen apples to trees. To cut out a thousand paper stars. To practice ballet. To learn to levitate. To have tea parties at the age of 18. To forge, through art, a place for yourself in the world and fight tooth and nail to stay there."

"Confidence is a reduction of your own interest in whether others are thinking about you, and if so, what they're thinking. Put another way, to be more confident you need to give a whole lot less of a shit about what other people think of you." -Augusten Burroughs

But believing something is true, even with all your heart, is unrelated to whether or not what you believe is true.

Because you never really know.

 “I found the words mai pen lai on my lips. Never mind. Let it go. I am more aware of the corrosive nature of envy and try my best to squelch it before it grows. I don’t take my failures quite so hard anymore. I see beauty in dark winter sky. I can recognize a genuine smile from twenty yards. I have a new appreciation for fresh fruits and vegetables.”-Eric Weiner

 Sometimes a smile can convey more than words. A smile can complete your day. A smile can give you a good night’s sleep.

In other news, I want to learn to make these: http://pinterest.com/search/?q=Mason+Jar+Pies

The most memorable book I have read recently was by one of my long time favorite writers, Augusten Burroughs. Normally he writes satirical memoirs about his messed up childhood, but in his most recent book “This is How” Burroughs writes a no-nonsense, tough love, slap-you-in-the-face, *self help (*I use that term loosely) book.

 Happiness is "a state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy"

 “Yes, there is something higher than happiness. Love is higher than happiness.” -Eric Weiner

Sometimes laughter and clowns are not appropriate.

"It was time to expect more of myself. Yet as I thought about happiness, I kept running up against paradoxes. I wanted to change myself but accept myself. I wanted to take myself less seriously -- and also more seriously. I wanted to use my time well, but I also wanted to wander, to play, to read at whim. I wanted to think about myself so I could forget myself. I was always on the edge of agitation; I wanted to let go of envy and anxiety about the future, yet keep my energy and ambition." 

-Gretchen Rubin

To remember what’s important, step out of your life, take the long view, and then feel how good it is to come home.

My newest addiction is Pinterest. I’m in need of a Pintervention.

 ‘Nibble’ is a funny word, or any variation, such as nibbler, nibbling, nibbles.

Happy Dirty Book Day! On June 11, 1959 D.H. Lawrence’s racy novel “Lady Chatterley’s Lover” was banned by U.S. postmaster General Arthur E. Summerfield. This began a heated censorship controversy. June 11^th has been banned “Dirty Book Day” ever since. Shockingly I am sure girls all over the world will be celebrating with Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele. Ugh. Although I don’t agree with book banning, If you want porn there are better ways of finding it.

 “Christian Grey is a 27-year-old ginger who likes white wine and using emoticons in e-mails and refuses to use contractions when he speaks. Anastasia Steele, sounded like Speedracer, mostly because she's always shouting her catchphrase, "Holy crap!" At 21, she's never given a blow job, but when she does, instinctively knows to use lots of teeth.  Fifty Shades dispenses with the supernatural plotline but also the main erotic draw of the Twilight books: the fact that the characters can't or won't have sex. Unencumbered by Mormon sexual ethics, pacing, or a YA classification, E.L. James is free to get straight to the “action”.

Here is why the f*#@ing is not very sexy:

The Prose: I'm sorry. I know, it's soft porn, and it's not there to better us. But the advantage of erotic fiction over a DVD of I Can't Believe I Ate the Whole Team is that books will always at least FEEL more high-minded than movies. Besides, there are ways to write sex well. This is not that. This is like Tom Wolfe–bad sex scenes but punctuated by non-sex scenes that are gut-wrenchingly awful.

The Dialogue: As has been noted, our heroine Anastasia Steele begins most of her sentences with "Holy crap!" People say "shall" a lot and "fetch" things instead of get them. When Christian Grey "rips through" Anastasia's virginity, she actually says "Argh!" like Jon finding out that Garfield has once again shredded the curtains.

The Characters: It's evident that we're dealing with thinly veiled Twilight characters here. Fifty Shade's proxy for Stephenie Meyer's Jacob is a photography student named (wait for it) Jose. It's fun, because E.L. James is about as conversant with Latino culture as she is with BDSM. Jose likes to grope women when he's loaded on margaritas and begins every sentence with "Dios mio!" I only wish I were around for that brainstorming sesh: "Hmmm … Native American werewolf … Mexican … American … art student?" Also, Christian is a gorgeous 27-year-old (okay) "tycoon" (hahahaha, double "okay") who never seems to do any work, but he also doesn't bang models or do drugs. Disbelief unsuspended.

The Technology: I don't mean the fact that real, free, actually sexy porn and literature is available literally everywhere. Fifty Shades of Grey takes place in 2011 but is loaded with anachronism. Anastasia is a college student who doesn't have a computer or a smartphone. (And is a beautiful sex positive feminist virgin, but I guess we're letting that one slide.) In one scene, Christian tracks her down to a club by, uh, GPSing her cell. He flies a helicopter too? And has a butler? Oh! And at one point, the hip young kids all groove down to Kings of Leon.

The Kink: I get that this is supposed to be BDSM Lite for people with Aztec-pattern Kindle Fire covers, but the ideas about "alternative lifestyle" sex are kind of hilarious. It's like it was all filtered through that sexually precocious but ultimately clueless friend from Catholic elementary school: Oh, yeah, S&M is all burgundy leather dungeons and sub-dom contracts. Also, if you spray Mountain Dew in your vagina after sex you won't get pregnant.

I'm not going to condemn Fifty Shades of Grey because it's fan fiction, I'm not even going to condemn it because I've seen better storytelling in an evening news segment. What I do take issue with is that an author is making money off of people who are too technologically illiterate to find GOOD porn out there and are getting stuck with this nonsense instead because it's the one part of Computers they can't just ask a nephew about.

I guess if you've managed to familiarize yourself with your e-reader but not YouPorn, well-written erotica, or your own body, congratulations on "finding" Fifty Shades of Grey … but also for going one more day without stumbling into a zoo enclosure. Up top.”

Great Review courtesy of :

http://www.vulture.com/2012/04/fifty-shades-of-grey-the-thinking-womans-guide.html

Other complaints include: the literal cover art, the overuse of the words "inner goddess" and subconscious, the tampon removal scene = not sexy.

 Now that I got the negative out.

I have seemed to skip a couple months of my own personal “Happiness Project”, but I’ll attempt to get back on track this month. With that being said, although I veered off course several times since April, I have successfully lost 10 pounds, abandoned the happy pills, decreased my carnivorous ways, and feel much more like “me”. 

July: Think Positive

Thinking positively is something I have been working on a lot lately, and have gotten much better at the last few years. I use to be quite the ‘glass half empty’ kinda girl. My thought process went like this: If I always expect the worst, then I will always be surprised when good things happen.  However, the wisdom that comes with age has derailed this justification and I really do believe that attitude is everything. Good things are gonna happen, bad things are gonna happen; but I can make the good things great, and the bad things better by changing my point of view.

 “Part of positive psychology is about being positive, but sometimes laughter and clowns are not appropriate. Some people don't want to be happy, and that's okay. They want meaningful lives, and those are not always the same as happy lives.” –Eric Weiner (The Geography of Bliss)

So in attempt to be more positive on this 11^th day of July, here is my list of things I love about summer, even in Arizona: barbecues, early morning light, living sockless, the return of Breaking Bad and Damages, braids, food on sticks, ice cold beverages, and summer travels.

“I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.” –Audrey Hepburn

Because it's been awhile.

“You can trust everyone to be human, with all the quirks and inconsistencies we humans display, including disloyalty, dishonesty and downright treachery. We are all capable of the entire range of human behavior, given the circumstances, from absolute saintliness to abject depravity. Trusting someone to limit their sphere of action to one narrow band on the spectrum is idealistic and will inevitably lead to disappointment.....

At times living in the Pacific Northwest, people say the winters can be soul crushing. It's not the rain that gets to a person, it's the gray. Sometimes blue sky isn't seen for weeks. But on days in this sweltering Arizona heat I feel just as much defeated. I don’t want to leave my house, doing anything active outside between the hours of 9am and 8pm is out of the question, and I honestly feel like I’m melting. I imagine hell is just like this.

Maybe, that is because the last five days in Seattle were uh-maze-ing!

I have had a lot of weird dreams lately. There have been two common scenes in many of them... flat tires and losing teeth.

 "To see or dream that you have a flat tire indicates that you are feeling emotionally drained and weary. You may have been unexpectedly let down. Your goals are temporarily hindered and as a result, you are unable to progress any further.

Teeth are used to bite, tear, chew and gnaw. In this regard, teeth symbolize power. And the loss of teeth in your dream may be from a sense of powerlessness.  Perhaps you are having difficulties expressing yourself or getting your point across. You feel frustrated when your voice is not being heard. You may be experiencing feelings of inferiority and a lack of self-confidence in some situation or relationship in your life. This dream may be an indication that you need to be more assertive and believe in the importance of what you have to say."(courtesy of dreammoods.com)

 On a completely unrelated note, could someone please buy me this Madeleine hat for my trip to Montreal?

"Do you think things always have an explanation?"
"Yes. I believe that they do. But I think that with our human limitations we're not always able to understand the explanations. But you see, Meg, just because we don't understand doesn't mean that the explanation doesn't exist."
- A Wrinkle in Time

Happiness is a funny thing. The older I get, the more I truly believe that happiness is a state of mind, or a choice. Everyone seems to have something they can blame 'unhappiness' on.

In my last blog I wrote about reading "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin, and by the end of the book Rubin had concluded (in my interpretation at least)  that people find happiness in feelings of accomplishment. Throughout the book she set monthly goals for herself, with the end goal of becoming 'happier'. Was she any happier at the end of the book? I don't think so. I think she felt
 a. A sense of achievement, b. She began to see happiness from a different perspective or c. Had kept her mind busy and therefore avoided over-thinking "happiness'. After all, happiness is somewhat relative, right?

Since the conclusion of "The Happiness Project" I have begun reading "The Geography of Bliss" by Eric Weiner. In Weiner's nonfiction novel he travels around the world in quest to find the 'happiest place on earth'. Thus far, he has made some profound, yet seemingly obvious notes about happiness.

"Humans, even nomadic ones, need a sense of home. Home need not be one place or any place at all, but every home has two essential elements: a sense of community and, even more important, a history."

"In the west and in the United States especially, we try to eliminate the need for compromise. Cars have 'personal climate controls' so that the driver and the passenger need not negotiate on a mutually agreeable temperature. That same pair, let's say they're husband and wife, need not agree on the ideal firmness of their mattress either. Each can set their own 'personal comfort levels'....I wonder, though, what we lose through such convenience. If we no longer must compromise on the easy stuff, like mattresses, then what about the truly important issues? Compromise is a skill, and like all skills it atrophies from lack of use."

 "I've spent most of my life trying to think my way to happiness, and my failure to achieve that goal only proves, in my mind, that I am not a good enough thinker. It never occurred to me that the source of my unhappiness is not flawed thinking but thinking itself.”

“Money matters, but less than we think and not in the way that we think. Family is important. So are friends. Envy is toxic. So is excessive thinking. Beaches are optional. Trust is not. Neither is gratitude.”

I need to step my game up and finish the first one.... I love when a day at work turns into a new discovery....

I've just added eight more things to my bucket list:
 www.womansday.com/Articles/Life/Travel/Cool-Castles-Located-on-Cliffs.html

How many wishes can I make?

"..On the other hand, you can decide to trust that everyone is doing their best according to their particular stage of development, and to give everyone their appropriate berth. For this to work, you have to trust yourself to make and have made the right choices that will lead you on the path to your healthy growth. You have to trust yourself to come through every experience safely and enriched. But don’t trust what I am saying. Listen and then decide for yourself. Does this information sit easily in your belly? You know when you trust yourself around someone because your belly feels settled and your heart feels warm."

-Stephen Russel

Happiness Project

 Week of April 12, 2012, Courtesy of Rob Brezny:
Some of our pagan forbears imagined they had a duty to assist with nature's revival every spring by performing fertility rituals. And wouldn't it be fun if it were even slightly true that you could help the crops germinate and bloom by making sweet love in the fields? At the very least, carrying out such a ceremony might stimulate your own personal creativity. In accordance with the astrological omens, I invite you to slip away to a secluded outdoor spot, either by yourself or with a romantic companion. On a piece of paper, write down a project you'd like to make thrive in the coming months. Bury the note in the good earth, then enjoy an act of love right on top of it. 

For the past month of so I have been reading "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rueben. The book has been criticized for being written by a woman who lives on the upper east side of Manhattan, is a writer, and is married with two kids. Skeptics ask, "What does she have to be unhappy about?". I on the other hand understand (or at least I think I do) where she might be coming from. No, I dont live in Manhattan, Im not a writer, Im unwed with no children (thank god) but in comparison to many people in this world I really dont have a lot to be unhappy about. Sure, I live pay check-to- pay check, in a studio-like apartment with limited counter space BUT I have everything I need. I have a supportive family, friends, food, a place to live, and a great job. But like Rueben, at times, I feel unhappy. Unhappy in the sense that I feel like life is, well, blah. So, in attempt to make myself happy (which only I can do) I have embarked on my own "Happiness Project".

April: Take Better Care of Myself

My resolution this month is to simply take better care of myself. Over the last couple years I have increasingly taken care of myself less. By this I mean: I have stopped exercising, started drinking more, taken one too many shower sabbaticals, and all in all have just let myself go. Now, I have always been one of those people who say "Im never gonna let myself go...I dont understand how people let themselves get that far off track". Now I understand. Fifteen pounds later unfortunately.

SO the first part of "taking better care of myself" is to lose weight. Now, in the past this would consist of me limiting my caloric intake, taking diet pills, sleeping, and essentially starving myself. But this time I commit to doing it a different way. I pledge to make changes in a healthy, mature, and realistic manner. My goals for losing weight are as follows:

1. Exercise at least four times a week-- walk, run, jump rope, bike, etc. for at the very least 30 minutes.

2. Limit my intake of meat-- now, I have done this before and I will tell you, I feel a whole lot more energized when I stay away from meat products. Does this mean that I am going to cut out meat altogether? No. I enjoy the occasional burger and chicken wings, and I refuse to deprive myself of things I enjoy. However, I am going to restrict myself to only eating meat when I go out to eat at restaurants (see #3).

3. Eat out less-- I think this one is self explanatory.

4.  Eat breakfast-- I have always steered clear of breakfast because it makes me hungrier throughout the day. I have always known this is because it speeds up my metabolism, but I hate the feeling of trying to stay away from food and being hungry. So I have created an unhealthy routine in which I never eat breakfast. So far this month I have eaten breakfast almost everyday, and I have more energy and am less hungry in the late evening. BOOM!

5. If it's in walking distance- WALK or bike. This of course excludes when I go grocery shopping and need to carry loads of bags home. But, often times I go to the store to walk around or just pick one thing up, and I live very close to Target, Ross, Frys, Fresh and Easy, and many restaurants and bars. I can easily walk my lazy ass there if Im going for something small or to just get out of the house.

Now, taking better care of myself is not all about losing weight. I have slacked off in many areas over the last couple of months. There are many other components of taking better care of myself that seem like they would be no-brainers.

1. Shower everyday

2. Wake up in the morning with plenty of time to get ready for work (when I rush I feel off all day)

3. Apply lotion everyday-- I use to do this religiously and I have always taken pride in my skin so I want to keep it young and fresh as long as possible. Moms has great skin, so I know if I take care of mine, in thirty years it will still look great.

4. Get plenty of sleep

5. Keep my place neat and clean (not obsessively so, but in Rueben's book she commits herself to completing any task that takes 60 seconds or less, immediately) that's my goal.
I think that is enough for April. So far I am doing well, and feel better than I have in a long time.

Ok, that's all for now.

I need a broom.

 “The overdressed traveler betrays more interest in being seen than in seeing, while the true traveler knows that the novel world about her serves as the most appropriate accessory.”- Gregory Mcguaire (Wicked)

 Week of April 5th, courtesy of Rob Brezny:
Researchers report that the typical man falls in love 5.4 times over the course of his life, while the average woman basks in the glow of this great mystery on 4.6 occasions. I suspect you may be close to having a .4 or .6 type of experience, Sagittarius: sort of like infatuation, but without the crazed mania. That could actually be a good thing. The challenging spiritual project that relationship offers may be most viable when the two people involved are not electrifyingly interwoven with every last one of their karmic threads. Maybe we have more slack in our quest for intimacy if we love but are not obsessed. 


 I think I could easily accomplish this goal: http://www.theuniformproject.com/

 “Doubt was much more energy efficient than conviction.”- Gregory Maguire (Wicked)

 
“People always did like to talk, didn't they? That's why I call myself a witch now: the Wicked Witch of the West, if you want the full glory of it. As long as people are going to call you a lunatic anyway, why not get the benefit of it? It liberates you from convention.” - Gregory Maguire (Wicked)

In the 1939 film version of The Wizard of Oz, the character of the Wicked Witch of the West is played by Margaret Hamilton. The Wicked Witch is her most famous role. It appears on lists for Best Film Characters and Best Film Villains time after time.

Now, in adapting the classic children's novel by L. Frank Baum, the film makers made a few changes to the Witch. They switched the Witch's method of transportation from magical umbrella to a broom, which is an instantly recognizable witch symbol. They also made the crushed Witch of the East her sister, which makes her hatred of Dorothy understandable. But the most interesting change is kind of a big one. In the book, the Witch was not green.

I haven't found any reasons as to why they made that decision. I suppose the Witch has green skin for the same reason that there are ruby slippers instead of silver ones, they wanted to show off the new color film technology. But whatever the reason, it was a great choice. The image stuck. And when Gregory Maguire wrote his novel Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West, he expanded on this character. He made her green skin a big part of the forming of her personality. He also gave her a name: Elphaba. Elphaba comes from a phonic pronunciation of L. Frank Baum's initials: L. F. B.

Without giving away any spoilers to those who haven't read it, here is what the Wicked Witch is like in the novel. Elphaba Thropp comes from Munchkinland, and is born with green skin. We don't really know what caused it even though there are several theories presented. She also has a bizarre allergy to water. She never allows herself to cry and only baths herself with oil because of this. Her green skin immediately makes her an outcast no matter where she goes. While in university, many people avoid her because she's perceived as odd and ugly. She wears a lot of black because everything else clashes with her skin tone. She has power that she can't control very well that mostly manifests itself when she's angry. Even though she's clearly upset that her sister is "the favorite," she dutifully cares for her anyways. As a young woman, she's a radical revolutionary. Despite being the daughter of a priest, she's an atheist. She's also a strong supporter of Animal rights (Animals are capable of human thought and speech in Oz). As she grows older, she becomes increasingly disillusioned and bitter. As a result, she does some pretty nasty things.
 
“She dropped her shyness like a nightgown, and in the liquid glare of sunlight on old boards she held up her hands-as if, in the terror of the upcoming skirmish, she had at last understood that she was beautiful. In her own way.”- Gregory Maguire (Wicked)


I need a broom. All the awesome characters have them. Harry Potter, The Wicked Witch. Nuff said.


“Animals are born who they are, accept it, and that is that. They live with greater peace than people do.” - Gregory Maguire (Wicked)

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